1 After Jesus said all these things, he left Galilee and went into the area of Judea on the other side of the Jordan River. 2 Large crowds followed him, and he healed them there.
3 Some Pharisees came to Jesus and tried to trick him. They asked, “Is it right for a man to divorce his wife for any reason he chooses?”
4 Jesus answered, “Surely you have read in the Scriptures: When God made the world, ‘he made them male and female.’ 5 And God said, ‘So a man will leave his father and mother and be united with his wife, and the two will become one body.’ 6 So there are not two, but one. God has joined the two together, so no one should separate them.”
7 The Pharisees asked, “Why then did Moses give a command for a man to divorce his wife by giving her divorce papers?”
8 Jesus answered, “Moses allowed you to divorce your wives because you refused to accept God’s teaching, but divorce was not allowed in the beginning. 9 I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman is guilty of adultery. The only reason for a man to divorce his wife is if his wife has sexual relations with another man.”
10 The followers said to him, “If that is the only reason a man can divorce his wife, it is better not to marry.”
11 Jesus answered, “Not everyone can accept this teaching, but God has made some able to accept it. 12 There are different reasons why some men cannot marry. Some men were born without the ability to become fathers. Others were made that way later in life by other people. And some men have given up marriage because of the kingdom of heaven. But the person who can marry should accept this teaching about marriage.”
Read Matthew 19:1-12 in context and/or in other translations on BibleGateway.com!
Hidden within this journal entry’s passage that makes many people uncomfortable is a clue about how to avoid failing at God’s ideal in our most significant relationship. While many people shy away from these verses because they speak against divorce, also included in this passage is a clue about how to have a successful marriage.
This clue is found as Jesus finishes teaching us what God’s ideal is in verses 4-6. Jesus ends this description of marriage by saying, “God has joined the two together, so no one should separate them.”
The big idea here is that God is the one doing the joining, and if this is truly the case, God will be in the middle of a successful marriage. It will also be true that we must be connected to God in order to truly connect well with our significant other half.
A statistic I learned about recently confirms this idea: A Gallup Poll done in 1997 by the National Association of Marriage Enhancement showed the divorce rate among couples who pray together regularly is 1 out of 1,152. If we were to make that into a percentage, it would be 0.087% — Less than 1/10th of one percent.
In culture today, where divorce is more common than we want to admit and marriage is not viewed as “till death do us part”, it would seem like the missing piece in our equation is God being the connecting link. Most people who want to get married want it to last forever, and most of those who have faced divorce don’t wish for their failed scenario to be repeated by themselves or others in the future.
In this passage, Jesus seems to imply that God is actively involved in a person’s marriage; but He doesn’t recognize divorce. We see this in Jesus’ words about God doing the joining, and also in the warning about not separating what God has joined and in the reality that God views second marriage sexual relations as adultery.
This is not condemning those who are divorced or who have remarried, but instead, it expands the definition of sin to be anything that is outside of God’s ideal/will. We all have fallen short of God’s ideal, and that is why Jesus came.
God wants us to experience the best life possible, and that includes the best marriage possible if marriage is in our present or future life. In this passage that speaks about God’s ideal regarding marriage, Jesus shares the secret to what makes a marriage successful: Don’t separate what God has joined together. God is the one doing the joining, and only by staying connected to Him are we able to truly stay connected with our spouse.
This thought was inspired by studying the Walking With Jesus “Reflective Bible Study” package. To discover insights like this in your own study time, click here and give Reflective Bible Study a try today!
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