1 After Jesus said all these things, he left Galilee and went into the area of Judea on the other side of the Jordan River. 2 Large crowds followed him, and he healed them there.
3 Some Pharisees came to Jesus and tried to trick him. They asked, “Is it right for a man to divorce his wife for any reason he chooses?”
4 Jesus answered, “Surely you have read in the Scriptures: When God made the world, ‘he made them male and female.’ 5 And God said, ‘So a man will leave his father and mother and be united with his wife, and the two will become one body.’ 6 So there are not two, but one. God has joined the two together, so no one should separate them.”
7 The Pharisees asked, “Why then did Moses give a command for a man to divorce his wife by giving her divorce papers?”
8 Jesus answered, “Moses allowed you to divorce your wives because you refused to accept God’s teaching, but divorce was not allowed in the beginning. 9 I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman is guilty of adultery. The only reason for a man to divorce his wife is if his wife has sexual relations with another man.”
10 The followers said to him, “If that is the only reason a man can divorce his wife, it is better not to marry.”
11 Jesus answered, “Not everyone can accept this teaching, but God has made some able to accept it. 12 There are different reasons why some men cannot marry. Some men were born without the ability to become fathers. Others were made that way later in life by other people. And some men have given up marriage because of the kingdom of heaven. But the person who can marry should accept this teaching about marriage.”
Read Matthew 19:1-12 in context and/or in other translations on BibleGateway.com!
Some of Jesus’ teaching is compassionate and uplifting; some of His teaching is challenging; and there are a few places were Jesus’ teaching seem to rub up against culture and our experience in ways that make us uncomfortable.
It is in this last category that our passage in today’s journal entry falls, but while divorce is a real challenge in today’s culture, and it has affected almost every person alive today in one way or another, too often we take Jesus’ words here as a condemnation of those who have been divorced – which actually is taking the verses out of context.
This conversation would not have happened except for one thing that happened: the Pharisees open up the discussion. Verse 3 begins by saying, “Some Pharisees came to Jesus and tried to trick him.”
In order to best understand the context of this teaching, we must first understand that Jesus probably would not have brought up the subject had He not been challenged with it. Other people came to Him with the question about the idea, so Jesus will answer with God’s ideal scenario. Verse 4 points to the original plan at creation, verse 5 recalls God’s words about how marriage would proceed, and verse 6 concludes with the challenge that we should not undo what God has done. This is the ideal scenario. We could call it Plan A.
But then, thinking they have Jesus firmly in the trap, the Pharisees respond with their follow-up question in verse 7: “Why then did Moses give a command for a man to divorce his wife by giving her divorce papers?”
The Pharisees have successfully contrasted Jesus’ teaching with Moses’ teaching, but instead of placing Moses’ revelation as being the one closest to God, Jesus draws out the contrast between God’s ideal and Moses’ exception. The original question in verse 3 included the phrase “for any reason he chooses”, and this is more what Jesus pushes back on.
Jesus gives one acceptable reason, but if we look closer at His one valid reason, we see something interesting. Verse 9, the one that makes people feel uncomfortable, says basically that adultery will be present at the end of a marriage. Either it will cause the marriage to end, or the marriage ending will result in it.
Jesus’ statement on divorce is not a condemnation; it is a challenging truth. Jesus says it to push His audience towards the conclusion He wants them to reach. Verse 10 shares this conclusion, “If that is the only reason a man can divorce his wife, it is better not to marry.”
Jesus wants His audience to be more intentional about following God’s ideal. Jesus follows up in verse 11 and 12 by saying it is perfectly okay for someone to choose to remain single. Reaching the place where a single person is okay with not marrying is the first step to becoming ready for marriage.
My own life experience has taught me that sometimes it is better to reach the place where I am satisfied being single before God will bring that special someone into my life. (Incidentally, this is exactly what happened to me in 2007 right before meeting Suzie, my wife-to-be.)
This thought was inspired by studying the Walking With Jesus “Reflective Bible Study” package. To discover insights like this in your own study time, click here and give Reflective Bible Study a try today!
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